10th March


This plastic thing is one heck of a lot tougher than I expected. I mean, have you ever tried to buy loo roll in anything else other than a plastic wrapper? I was up and down the bog paper aisle of Tesco in Tain but to no avail. Whether you buy four rolls, six rolls, or a massive great number, they all come heavily wrapped in plastic. Gah.

What to do? Can you still get the hard stuff (was it called Izal?) that came in a cardboard box? Well I certainly couldn’t find any. The case continues. I hope I won’t have to stoop to ‘Steptoe & Son’ torn up bits of newspaper on a nail besides the loo!

On Sunday I was a good boy however, I bought a glass bottle of gin and a glass bottle of tonic, purely for medicinal purposes you understand. I put them in the poacher’s pocket of the big hairy jacket that my son-in-law Paddy gave me a few years ago and proceeded for the door of Tain’s Asda.

What happened next I’m not sure but unknown to me one bottle managed to break the other and I had gin pouring down my trouser leg as I headed for the car. Lord knows what people thought. Luckily the bottom half of the bottle was in tact and I had enough left to steady myself after the awful shock with two large ones. (Having carefully filtered the gin for broken bits of glass).

But I digress. I’ve given my word that I shall try to take plastic down to zero. If I can’t then I’ll do my best.


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